I'm starting my own reality show. The only way to watch it is by following me around.

A boy peeing with the bathroom door open is like fingernails on the chalkboard to a mother's ear. (Or a man too I guess, but that doesn't happen in this house.)

I see a lot of company logos on clothing. Have you noticed you never see anyone wearing a Cialis hat?

If you're in a face to face conversation with someone, please take the Bluetooth out of your ear. Do you want them listening to you or wondering why a blue light-flashing-piece of plastic is hanging on the side of your head?

Apple reported revenue of $10.47 billion in iphone sales alone last quarter. To put that in perspective you could have bought over 77 million copies of Windows Home Premium with that amount.

Hey employee of the month, if you're so great, why do you insist on parking so close to your work place? Plus, it seems you're never there anyway, and I could really use that space.

I ran across this hat, for TV viewing with your smartphone or ipod touch. To quote Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that."


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