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Observations of the Trivial, Part 4

3/19/2011

 
Thankfully I don’t have to travel by plane for work very often, but I found myself having to take three trips in two weeks.  Some observations:

Despite all the bad press TSA agents get, the ones I encountered were quite pleasant.  I did endure one full body scan with the controversial imaging machines.  Here were my results, but they still let me through:
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(Yes, I usually wear my toupee when I travel.)

Once you get through security at the Milwaukee airport they have what is known as a "Recombobulation Area".  I was all set to make fun of this, but I discoverd the TSA intended it as a joke.  They evidently have a better sense of humor than I thought. 

Delta Airlines, bless their hearts, still give you your choice of peanuts or some type of cookie-biscuit-cracker-wafer-cardboard thing.  When I received my 4 ounces of Diet Coke from the flight attendant on Continental, I waited expectantly for my morsels of food.  I was denied as the attendant and her polyester uniform  made their way down the aisle with nary a crumb for me.  Next time, charge me .50 more for my ticket and give me my nuts.

On my way to Milwaukee I had to connect through Chicago.  Time to walk from my arrival gate to departure gate: 16 minutes.  Wheels up to wheels down flight time to Milwaukee: 11 minutes.

I need to relax I guess.  I hadn't looked at an "in-flight magazine" in quite a while.  I found this and hope it does the trick:
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It "massages" your head.  I try to shave and not pose when I use mine.

Observations of the Trivial, Part 3

2/13/2011

 
Latest headline from my local paper involving a cow: "[Chairman] Alston declares a truce over Yow's cow adoption."

Men, if you're going to wear a scarf, I would suggest it be for warmth only and not as an accessory. This especially applies when it is 40+ degrees out. 

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I think one of the funniest facial expressions a dog makes is when he's defecating. "Hey, stop looking at me, I need some privacy." 


I notice some realtors put their picture on your yard signs, while others don't. Do the ones that do think to themselves, "This handsome mug could help sell a house.". Conversely, do others think "If I were just a little better looking I could put my picture on my signs."  This guy seems to agree.  This picture looks like a mug shot:
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From Rick Reilly's post on dumbest things said at the Superbowl:
“I’m not that prima donna kind of receiver. I don’t have that personality. ... Some of the guys do it just as a publicity stunt to get themselves out there, which is a good strategic plan, but there are other ways to do it. I chose the humility role. This is not a front. It’s just who I am." 
--Green Bay WR Greg Jennings, who went on to refer to himself in the third person and complain about how annoyingly early the interviews were and how suffocating his jersey was on Media Day: “I want to ... let people know who I am and what I’m all about and get a feel for Greg Jennings, not the football player, what I like to do. I’m trying to get myself out there so I can be in a movie this year." 
(Hopefully, some director can cast him in the humility role.) 

Observations of the Trivial, part 2

1/29/2011

 

I'm starting my own reality show. The only way to watch it is by following me around.

A boy peeing with the bathroom door open is like fingernails on the chalkboard to a mother's ear. (Or a man too I guess, but that doesn't happen in this house.)

I see a lot of company logos on clothing. Have you noticed you never see anyone wearing a Cialis hat?

If you're in a face to face conversation with someone, please take the Bluetooth out of your ear. Do you want them listening to you or wondering why a blue light-flashing-piece of plastic is hanging on the side of your head?

Apple reported revenue of $10.47 billion in iphone sales alone last quarter. To put that in perspective you could have bought over 77 million copies of Windows Home Premium with that amount.

Hey employee of the month, if you're so great, why do you insist on parking so close to your work place? Plus, it seems you're never there anyway, and I could really use that space.

I ran across this hat, for TV viewing with your smartphone or ipod touch. To quote Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that."

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Observations of the trivial, part 1

1/22/2011

 
Squirrels, why do you have to bury your nuts in my yard, killing precious blades of grass?  I'm not climbing your tree and sticking ham sandwiches in your nest.
My local newspaper's headline for today: "Chairman challenges Yow over stray cows."  I thought I lived in a bigger town than that would indicate.
I wish we could treat Canadian geese like house flies. Swat, and no more of your poop on my sidewalk.  Pardon the animal hostility.
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Oyster.com books hotel rooms.  One thing they do different is show you realistic pictures of where you will be staying.  The picture to the left is a seemingly nice size room with a king bed at the Holiday Inn NYC-Wall Street.  The picture is on the hotel's web site.

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This is the picture on oyster.com's website.  Notice they didn't crop out the wall on the right.  Tight fit, isn't it?  It looks like the door is going to hit the bed when it opens.

Man, I hope this gets better.

    Brent York

    lacking imagination

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